Now, half of my friends have had surg’ry or died.
The fact I’m still here is a matter for pride.
I bend down with ease, though I can’t touch the floor.
I still have my bits, but forget what they’re for.
I fractured my wrist, when I fell on the ice.
You’d think that I’d learn but I’ve now done it twice.
I’ve varicose veins and a cyst on my shoulder.
I’m not growing old – I am just getting old-er.

My hearing impairment – I really don’t mind it.
I wear my new hearing aid – when I can find it.
I’m deaf to my wife, but I never say ‘pardon’ –
I give her the slip and escape to the garden.
My nostrils and ears, sprouting bushes of hair,
give me something to do – when it’s raining out there.
I put on my thermals when winter gets colder.

John Barclay


Back to Poems
I’m not growing old – I am just getting older.

I haven’t a clue as to where the last week went.
My dental appointments are getting more frequent.
I’ve got a free bus pass and try not to lose it.
I go to strange places just so I can use it.
I learnt some new words but forgot what they meant.
I went up the stairs and forgot why I went.
I’ve got 90 beer labels stashed in a folder.
I’m not growing old – I am just getting older.

The new bathroom door’s got a squeak – I must oil it,
on one of my numerous trips to the toilet.
I send lots of e-mails. I’m learning to text.
I’ll master whatever new wizardry’s next.
The kitchen light failed so I fitted a new tube.
I posted a video of this on YouTube.
On e-bay I bought a large rusty plant holder.
I’m not growing old – I am just getting older.

I’ve made a resolve – I will live till I die.
I’m going to freak out without letting on why,
go out of my comfort zone, yes, and defy
conventions of dress. Well, I won’t wear a tie.
I’ll alter the shade of my hair (using dye).
I’ll knock back tequilas until I get high,
then have a short poem tattooed on my thigh.
I’ll wish my old gardening trousers good-bye,
before I begin a new life as a spy,
become a wild, dangerous, daredevil guy.
I’ll hire a small glider and learn how to fly,
then hang over Corfe, or drop out of the sky.
Just watch my adventures get bigger and bolder
I’m not growing old – I’m just getting older.

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